You can repeat, or be told, not to lose your temper, but when the moment of fire comes, if you don't have concrete tricks to avoid the explosion ... it explodes. So here are some tips on how to stay calm in any situation which does not mean suffering or giving in, but simply not letting anger take over.
This is not goodness or weakness, even in a deliciously selfish way you may think that anger it is the enemy of clarity and reasoning, so if we fall its prey, we weaken and could end up making wrong, hasty and short-sighted decisions.
In order not to get angry too often, a not indifferent work must be done on oneself, and the result is not immediate, but at the same time it is important that in the daily, hot, one is able to limit outbursts of anger and panic thanks to tricks that seem trivial but which, day after day, will forge a new way of acting. A new ourselves that we will like more.
Breathe before speaking
Responding in record time is a bad habit that I know well, but it's not exactly a way of doing things that helps us stay calm. We try to force ourselves to breathe before we start talking. Yes, a simple breath, lasting a few seconds, can change our response or even just the tone, making everything more reasonable. Furthermore, the air flowing into our body helps us to hear better what we really want and to give a response less dominated by fear and anger and more oriented towards achieving long-term benefit. All in the time of one breath, I'd say it's worth a try, right? The time to breathe deeply before saying or doing anything according to a study conducted in the United States drastically reduces stress and the risk of misunderstanding with the interlocutor. Alternatively, you can also force yourself to count to 5 but it is not the same thing, the gesture of breathing has a unique value.
Unmasking the self-criticism
Have you ever been angry about a phrase or a facial expression, then realizing that you had projected one of yours onto the other biting self criticism? Very often we are our most severe judges, so severe that we read everything around us in the key of self-criticism, ready to grasp in any action or face a confirmation of the low judgment we have first of all about ourselves. Of course self-criticism is not easy to silence, what we can start to do is to prevent it from spreading into external reality by associating a meaning of our invention with the reality of things. To do this it is essential not to dwell on negative thoughts to prevent them from gaining power. To get the thoughts out of our heads, let's put them in black and white, distancing ourselves from them. Already in the act of writing, we ourselves will notice some absurdities, others will emerge when we cold-read what we believed was reality. Over time we will become more and more able to distinguish what is the result of our negative projection on reality and what is real and disconnected from our self-criticism.
Do something unusual
If the stress is not temporary but it is a condition that recurs, perhaps in correspondence with a particular situation, social or environmental, let's try to shuffle the cards by changing even just a detail of your work environment or your home, or your habits . We turn the furniture, we listen to music, we change our way to work, we change brand of biscuits. Even a small variant can give life to a new way of dealing with everyday life by making us look at it with different eyes.
Take care of ourselves
Those who accept themselves and love themselves, those who smile in the mirror and treat themselves with love, get less angry and are less at the mercy of fears and anguish. The more it is strangers to states of fear and anger, the more you treat yourself and feel good about yourself. It is a virtuous circle that, if it does not already exist, must be triggered. As? Starting to treat us well. This does not mean pampering us or even having to always be elegant but respecting our body and keeping it healthy.
Trivially, but very frequently, people are irritable because they have hours and hours of accumulated sleep which makes them loose mines ready to explode. Anyone who has experienced a period of consistent lack of sleep, even for a short time, will have experienced on their skin like waking fatigue corrodes the nerves and transforms the character of even the most meek people. So let's commit ourselves to sleep, so that it is in the correct amount and woe to see it as a waste of time. It is an important moment of the day, the quality of life we live in the remaining hours of the day depends on it.
To conclude I recommend a book between the ironic and the serious, which I have found to have the right way to approach this issue. Concrete but never taking oneself too seriously because, I forgot to tell you, that the first and best way to not lose your temper is to learn to laugh at yourself and at what happens. It does not mean being a scoundrel but positively distancing oneself from the engulfing anger in which much of the world is immersed. "Kung-fu and the art of staying calm. The 7 Shaolin principles for self-control ", good reading.